Christmas Woes….

Happy Birthday Rachael. Used to be the first words out of my mouth as soon as I saw her. She would be 32 today, the same age as I am. I never got to say goodbye. That’s what hurts the most. I was on deployment when she suddenly left the world, not able to make it back in time for the funeral. This happened two times to me, both deployments I lost someone close to me and couldn’t make it back either time. It sucks. I think I saw her the Christmas before she passed, I can’t remember exactly because it was years ago but in my head I saw her, happy and healthy, and was able to say Happy Birthday to her one last time. I just didn’t know that it would be the last time I would ever be able to say it to her. She was my best friend growing up, always having sleepovers at each others houses…..those continued on to even when we were adults, she had her own place and I would go stay the night at her place. We were close, so not being able to say goodbye bothers me to this day. We had nicknames for each other, I was Paco and she was Pablo, how we came up with them I have no idea but I will never forget them. Every Christmas morning I still wake up and say it, quietly to myself, I know she is watching down over me and hears me say it. One day I will be able to say it to her again, when my time has come and I go visit the big guy upstairs. Until then, I know my Grandma and other family members got to say Happy Birthday Rachael. I love you cuz and I think of you often. I hope I am making you proud and living life the best I can for both of us.

Not your average thug

When I think about this in my head, I am quite the thug. Heck when I write it, some of you might even think the same thing.

I have quite a lot of tattoos, including one going down my hand that says Thug Life. I also am from Detroit, I own and carry a gun, my dog is a pitbull, the windows on my car are really dark, and I listen to rap as loud as possible.

  

When I hear “Thug life” I think of two things, Tupac and Pineapple Express. One is funny, the other is gangster.

I currently live in Virginia Beach, in not the best part of town, there was a shooter running through my complex a month ago. Does this make me a thug at all? No. So why am I writing about this? Because stereotypes are out there and every day I hear a new one. I do not sell drugs, despite being asked many times by people in my complex. I don’t even drink or eat meat.

So nice to meet you, my name is Bre and I am the sober, vegetarian thug from Detroit. Watch out! It’s funny cause I am a 5’2 white girl and my dog is a 50LB pitbull princess who acts more like a cat than anything. The two of us might look intimidating (sarcasm), but I can assure you we are a couple of scaredy cats (literally for Nalah).

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Nalah, the big scary pitbull.

Next time before you judge someone, take a second to really look at that person and maybe get to know them. Heck, maybe you will make a friend or even have your views changed. Just cause someone looks rough around the edges, they might be the nicest person you meet or they could teach you something. Never judge a book by its cover.

A little explanation on my thug life tattoo…..for those who do not know…..Thug life means: The Hate U Give Little Infants F-cks Everyone. Simply put, raising children to hate or dislike things is only going to continue the downward spiral this country is already going down. Hate the cops. Hate certain races. Hate whatever. Spread love, not hate. When you go into things with an open mind and an open heart, anything is possible. I bet you never heard a thug say something like that. Anyone can be a “thug”, heck my 86 year old grandmother is probably more of a thug than half the people in Newport News.

My grandmother always tells me I am going to regret my tattoos when I get to be her age. I tell her when I get to be her age I will be lucky to remember my tattoos.

Just to confirm from my last blog that I had another “this is why I am single moment” today…..this is how we get down on a Saturday night.

  
 

This….This is the reason right here.

I think every single woman has said this at some point during the time they were single….This, This is the reason right here why I am single.

Realization is the first step. At least that’s what I am told. My problem is I say this to myself at least once a day.

I am not single, I am just alone A LOT. You can read the backstory in my previous blogs.

So every day, I do something that makes me realize why I am in the predicament I am in. Tonight was especially funny.

It’s Friday. Single women everywhere are preparing themselves for something. For some its work, others its to go out. I prepared myself in a different way. I feel as though its a more practical way. So I stop at the store on the way home from work and grab a few last minute Christmas gifts and snacks. I come home and take out the Nalahmonster, then get out of my work clothes. Turn on my favorite after work show, Hot Bench and Family Feud, and start filling out Christmas cards for my co-workers. Once I finish those up, I make a snack and cuddle up on the couch with the dog and start watching Scandal on Netflix. One particular episode they are talking about a gun being hidden for 10 years and not being rusted. This makes me remember that I haven’t cleaned my gun in months. So I continue watching the show while disassembling my gun and cleaning it.

This is where I realize what I am doing and laugh. Here I am, alone, snuggling my dog on the couch while watching Netflix and cleaning my gun. But, I prepared myself for something I guess. Heck if I wasn’t cleaning my gun I probably would have been in the gym, I’ll save that for Saturday night though.

Well hello December

I haven’t blogged in awhile. Life and shenanigans have gotten in the way and I have had zero free time. What have I been up to you ask??? Well let me see…..

Halloween I did a GoRuck Light with a couple friends. I dressed as a dinosaur, which turned out to be a terrible idea (for the second time). I am not sure my dinosaur onesie will ever be the same.

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We spent a lot of time in the water and I am impressed by the amount of sand and water that can be held in a fleece suit. I am also impressed that I am still finding sand and shells in my ruck.

November…..I spent the first weekend in North Carolina. Had a pretty good time just relaxing. I am a full time student as well as working full time so most of my weekends involve homework and trying to catch up on sleep that I lose out on during the week.

Veterans Day…..after looking at the event calendar, I learned that there aren’t any special events for GoRuck in Virginia next year. So last minute I booked a hotel room in Charlottesville and registered for the GoRuck Challenge (Tough). My life was still crazy and I felt like I needed to do this for me. Plus there aren’t any other chances of me getting my GRT in for a few months and well I wanted to do it then.

For those that do not know, GoRuck Challenge is 10-12 hours of Good Livin. During those hours you will cover between 15-20 miles. I’m betting that doesn’t sound like fun to some of you. Give it a try!

So the event starts at 9pm on Friday. I take the day off work so I can pack and make sure I have everything together, then drive 3 hours to the hotel room and relax and get the dog set up for the night. I leave the hotel at 8pm, my phone says it will take me 15 minutes to get to SP but I also had to get cash and find a place to park. I should have left earlier. I couldn’t find parking as there was a UVA football game that same night. I finally find a place to park and end up running to find SP, which was easier than I thought it would be. 10 hours and 18 miles later I am limping around UVA campus lost and trying to find where I parked my car. I was tired and sore. I wanted nothing more than a hot shower and a warm bed. After limping around for an extra 40 minutes I finally get to where I parked the car (note: if you EVER go to UVA and park by a starbucks…..remember another place too because there is a starbucks on two sides of UVA and they are far apart….I know) and head back to the hotel. I take the dog out, shower, then crawl into bed. Of course I couldn’t sleep. Too sore to get comfortable. I napped off and on throughout the day. I was supposed to leave Sunday morning to head back to the beach but I got frustrated and left Saturday night, driving 3 hours off of barely any sleep. It was nice to get home and crawl into my bed and sleep all night comfortably though.

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Besides being happy for finally becoming a GRT, working my butt off and trying to maintain my 4.0, I really haven’t been doing anything at all. I have two weeks left of busting my butt in school until I get a much needed break until January, and I leave in 2 weeks to go back to the mitten to spend the holidays with my family. Not sure I am ready for that kind of cold yet though.